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Topics related to sex and sexual health are still taboo in Romania, both at home with parents, at school, with doctors, and in many cases, within couples.

This is one of the conclusions of the latest study on the sexual behavior of Romanians aged 16 to 35, commissioned by MedLife.

At the same time, nearly 14% of all cancers detected in Romania are associated with a sexually transmitted infection: HPV, according to the National Institute of Public Health.

One explanation is that many of us don’t know how to discuss sensitive topics, such as STI testing, even with our partner. We wanted to understand where the communication problems about sex originate and talked to psychologist Andreea Chiru-Maga from the MindCare Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Center, part of the MedLife Group, about how couples can speak honestly and openly about their desires, as well as concerns regarding sex and sexual health.

Less than half (41%) of young Romanians aged 16 to 35 are open to talking with their partners about a sexually transmitted infection (STI), according to the MedLife study. Even more concerning is that only 2 out of 10 Romanians feel comfortable having this conversation with a doctor, and 18% of those surveyed have not talked to anyone about STIs. But how can we be more open about this topic when sex remains a taboo subject in schools and sometimes even within families, wonders psychologist Andreea Chiru-Maga.

“The sample considered in the MedLife study largely includes the millennial generation (i.e., millennials are all individuals born between 1981 and 1996), a generation quite ‘technologized,’ accustomed to video games in hand and pornography websites on the computer. For young people, pornography is more accessible than sexual education and information on preventing sexually transmitted diseases,” emphasizes the psychologist.

When and How to Talk About STIs in a Relationship?

Alex, a 30-year-old young man, recently started a new relationship, and his partner asked him from the very first dates that if he wanted an intimate relationship, he should get tested for all sexually transmitted diseases.

Psychologist Andreea Chiru says she has encountered many such situations in her practice, especially with women who ask their new partners to get tested for STIs: “In many cases, men don’t even continue; they withdraw from the relationship because they feel controlled, judged, offended, or frustrated that their partner thinks they might carry such an infection or be ill, sometimes even because they fear a possible positive result. From my point of view, addressing this topic is extremely relevant from the very beginning of the relationship. Open and honest communication about sex, pleasure, sexual health, including sexually transmitted infections, can strengthen trust and intimacy in the couple,” says Andreea Chiru-Maga.

It is very important how such a topic is brought up. The psychologist suggests a communication method known in psychology as “I feel… About… I need…”. First of all, it is better to start with ‘I’ rather than ‘you are,’ ‘you have been,’ etc. Start from our own need: I feel, I need, I want, so that the partner does not feel hurt, criticized, or judged.”

And if one of the partners has been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection, they will need to discuss it not only with their current partner but also with previous ones. “First of all, it’s good to choose an appropriate time, but that doesn’t necessarily mean this step will spare us from a reaction from the other person. It’s wise to set our expectations that the partner may not react positively,” advises the psychologist.

“It seems like a somewhat shameful topic.” Discussions about sex should start within the family.

In recent years, there has been much discussion, often polarized, in the public space about the lack of sexual education in schools. Indeed, it is important to have accurate information about sex, sexuality, and sexual health in schools, but these discussions need to start at home, believes Andreea Chiru.

“Sexual education in schools could start around puberty, at age 10. Until then, it’s the parents’ role to provide information in this area. It seems very important to me to also organize courses or workshops for parents, because most of them don’t know how to talk to children in an age-appropriate manner. Some parents come to me asking to talk to their daughters about menstruation, or to discuss sex with teenagers, justifying that they don’t know how to explain it themselves. It seems to be a taboo, shameful topic that parents avoid. Perhaps also because there is this stigma: that talking about sex means starting sexual activity earlier. On the contrary, studies have shown: the more information young people have, the later and more responsibly they begin their sexual life,” says the psychologist.

An essential discussion that parents should have with young people is about consent, recommends the specialist: “I have worked with many young women who started their sexual life without consent. In short, they were abused in the sense that pressure was applied until consent was given. Ultimately, this consent involves both partners being able to express their desires and limits equally. Consent does not mean insisting until the partner says yes. Many young women find themselves in situations where their partners insist, they eventually give in, and after the event occurs, they feel extremely guilty, as if they are entirely responsible for what happened. But even some adults need this concept explained to them.”

A common mistake made by parents

News about the high number of sexually transmitted infections in Romania, as well as stories about teenage mothers, often leads many parents to focus more on controlling their children rather than discussing and managing the situation within their family. “Helping a teenager does not mean taking away their phone and monitoring every aspect of their life. Because, when they leave the house, they may feel they have escaped constraints and could engage in risky behaviors. Instead, authentic sexual education and open discussions with the young person or teenager can prove to be much more useful. These can help them understand the information and make informed choices. The more access young people have to information, the more options they have to make correct and healthy choices,” concludes psychologist Andreea Chiru-Maga.

Accurate information is what can make the difference, so with the study on the attitudes and behaviors of young people regarding sexual health, MedLife has committed to a sexual education program with long-term goals aimed at increasing awareness and responsibility regarding sexual health among young people in Romania.

Additionally, MedLife has launched two testing packages for detecting sexually transmitted infections: Testat e Hot (basic and extended). The packages include a range of specific tests covering major sexually transmitted infections such as HIV, syphilis, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and more. Until August 11, 2024, participants at Electric Castle or Summer Well can access these packages with a 20% discount by presenting their festival wristband or ticket at the reception of MedLife units.


This article is supported by MedLife, the largest network of private medical services in Romania, and aims to be a source of information and inspiration for a healthy and balanced life.

Health is the main source of happiness for Romanians. At MedLife, people’s happiness delights and motivates us to provide medical solutions to the highest standards.

Regardless of the specialty, at MedLife, you can always find skilled doctors whose expertise is complemented by the most advanced medical technologies and modern infrastructure, ensuring personalized care for each patient.

Find more details about all services at https://www.medlife.ro/


Photo source: Becca Tapert, Unsplash